


Cooking With a Killer Robot: The Semi-Unprofessional Reboot

by Gatherer_of_Clouds



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Post-Undertale Pacifist Route - "I want to stay with you."
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:01:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23935003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gatherer_of_Clouds/pseuds/Gatherer_of_Clouds
Summary: What’s a bored child, skeleton, fish, and robot supposed to do when it’s pouring buckets outside? Reboot the Underground’s best cooking show of course.
Kudos: 12





	Cooking With a Killer Robot: The Semi-Unprofessional Reboot

“I’m soooooo bored! Darlings, we need some drama, or action, or something!” Mettaton dramatically let his forearm fall over his face. Undyne groaned as she flopped on the couch next to the flamboyant robot like the fish out of water she was.  
”For once I agree with your robotic ass!”  
“Undyne!” Papyrus chided and covered Frisk’s ears with his gloved hands. Frisk just rolled their eyes. “The Great Papyrus will think of something!”  
”Well hurry up!” Undyne yelled. Currently, the four were slouching on the living room couch. Everyone else, including Nabstablook who’d come to visit with Mettaton, was out, either at a job or running an errand. It was currently pouring buckets and lightning and thunder were dancing across the darkened sky. They were bored beyond belief, and could barely keep their eyes open.  
”We could solve more puzzles!” Papyrus suggested. Everyone else let out a collective groan.  
“Paps, we’ve been doing that for the past hour!” Undyne wasn’t wrong. Around the couch were numerous wooden puzzles, number puzzles, crosswords, and 3 Rubix Cubes. “I don’t think there’s any more to do.”  
”Nonsense!”  
”How about we...never mind.” Frisk’s soft voice trailed off.  
“How about we what, darling?” Mettaton took his arm off his face to look at Frisk.  
”I was gonna day we could cook, but last time Undyne, Papyrus, and I cooked spaghetti, we nearly burnt down the house. Toriel got really mad. We aren’t allowed to cook without supervision.” The three shuddered. Even Undyne, the strong and courageous former captain of the Royal Guard, was rendered powerless and utterly terrified by Toriel’s infamous death stare.  
“Well I am supervision,” he leapt up, “and I was just struck by a genius idea! We could make,” Mettaton paused for dramatic effect, and stretched his robotic hand outward, “Cooking With A Killer Robot Part II: The Next Part. After all, we only had a few episodes underground. That show needs to be rebooted!“  
“We can show everyone when they get home!” Frisk smiled.  
”Uh fiiiiiine.” Undyne groaned, “I’m gonna die of boredom if we don’t do anything,”  
“Ok everyone,” Mettaton jumped off the couch, “first we need props. I’m assuming Toriel doesn’t have a chainsaw lying around, so we’ll just have to make one.”  
”There’s plenty of cardboard boxes and sharpies we can use. A great monster such as myself will be a master cutter and artist!” Papyrus’s scarf began flowing in a nonexistent wind as he struck a heroic pose, “What else needs to be made out of cardboard?”  
”Perhaps the logo of the show. I’m thinking it should be simple, yet eye catching. Try to make it look similar, but different enough from the old logo to be interesting.” He waved his hands around. “In addition, you could be the narrator!”  
”Narrator?” Papyrus asked.  
”Yes! To give the show something that sets it apart from other cooking shows.”  
”Well, I happily accept! I can’t believe my greatness will be on a Mettaton show!”  
”We also need a script, so Undyne,” the blue fish nodded, “You have a bit experience with writing, correct?”  
”I’m basically an expert in fan fiction. I read all of Alphys’s. How hard could it be?”  
”Fantastic! After all, people who write fan fictions are just unprofessional drama writing queens. You and I will work on the script. Frisk do you have any costumes for us to wear?”  
”Mom has an apron and I have my costume from Halloween last year when I was a pirate.”  
”Fantastic! Now, before we do anything, what shall we make?”  
”Cookies!” Frisk pumped their hand in the air.  
”Spaghetti!” Papyrus and Undyne said in unison.  
”Why not make both? At the same time?” Mettaton tapped his chin thoughtfully. “We could call it Mettaton’s fabulous cookies and spaghetti dinner.”  
”Because that’d taste terrible.” Undyne stuck out her tongue.  
”Who said you’d have to eat it? It could be used as temporary decor. Like a vase of roses. We could put all sorts of inedible things into it aswell, like MTT brand glitter and beads (tm) which I always carry on my person Incase of emergency.” Mettaton reached into his pink and black pocketbook to pull out two plastic containers with rainbow colored beads and glitter respectively.  
”Decoration spaghetti! Why didn’t master chef Papyrus think of that?”  
”Well,” Mettaton clapped his hands, “time waits for no one! Undyne come with me to the computer room! Papyrus get the cardboard, and Frisk get your costume and Toriel’s apron.”  
.  
.  
.  
”Alright is everyone ready for their close up?” Mettaton surveyed the kitchen. All the food seemed to be in order. Undyne was ready with the camera, impatiently tapping her foot. Frisk tugged on the eye patch (which was actually one of Undyne’s) and a black hat with a few feathers sticking out. They gave a thumbs up.  
”The Great Papyrus is always ready!” He too gave a thumbs up.  
“So, what am I supposed to do exactly?” Undyne asked.  
”Keep the camera level and still so as to not make our lovely viewers dizzy, but for dramatic effect zoom in when you deem it necessary. Okay! Lights, camera, action!” Mettaton exclaimed. Undyne nodded once the camera was rolling.  
”Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the reboot of the Underground’s premier cooking show...” Frisk held up the sign Papyrus made, “Cooking With A Killer Robot Part II: The Next Part. Mettaton, your wonderful host and his swashbuckling assistant Captain Frisk will make something truly astonishing!” Papyrus said from behind Undyne.  
”How correct you are my great narrator!” The flamboyant robot flipped his hair dramatically, “Preheat your ovens folks and get out your hot hands, because today we’ll be making MTT brand spaghetti cookie dinner with beads and glitter for added fabulousness!”  
”MTT brand spaghetti cookie dinner with beads and glitter for added fabulousness (tm) cannot be eaten it is only for decor purposes and if eaten can result in-“  
”While our fantastic narrator, very quickly I might add, lists the dangers of eating this dish and how it should be stored, my lovely assistant will get the ingredients.” Mettaton winked at the camera and Undyne rolled her eye and zoomed in on Frisk getting the ingredients from the counter behind them.  
“Now, first we must preheat our oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit!” Mettaton and Frisk both struck a pose. Mettaton looked back at the oven and gasped, “It appears our oven only goes up to 350! What a disaster!”  
”Oh no! How will our incredible heroes fix this?” Papyrus yelled in despair.  
”It appears we can’t make our colorful dish after all. O woe is me!” Mettaton draped himself over the counter. Frisk tapped his shoulder.  
”It seems that Captain Frisk has an idea!” Papyrus cheered. Frisk brushed their hair out of their face and lifted up their eye patch to wink at the oven.  
”You may not be able to go over 350, but boy you are smokin’ hot, arrr!” Frisk pushes their hair back into place and made finger guns at the oven.  
”Captain Frisk used flirt! The oven became flustered and will now go over 360 degrees!”  
”O Captain, my Captain! You saved the day!” Mettaton and Frisk posed again. “Now sweetie! Are you ready? Here come the directions! Narrator could you take the lead?”  
”Sure thing! The Great Pap-I mean Narrator can do anything! Mix together a cup of softened butter and a cup of white sugar until smooth with a mixer.”  
”You can use MTT brand egg murderers (tm) (which are 10 times as effective as egg beaters) for this!” Mettaton pulled out Alphys’s pink prototype, which they thankfully had enough sense to test beforehand.  
“Beat in two eggs one at a time, then stir in two teaspoons of vanilla extract.” Papyrus continued, “Dissolve baking one teaspoon soda in two teaspoons of hot water. Add this to the fabulous batter along with a half teaspoon of salt.” Mettaton and Frisk did what Papyrus said while having a miniature dance off Undyne was rapidly zooming in and out. There was, thankfully, only minor spillage.  
“Stir in three cups of flour. Now I’m assuming most of our dear viewers have eaten chocolate chip cookies before. Well, instead of bland old chocolate, we are going to be putting in something, colorful, flashy, and incredible! Something called, MTT brand beads (tm). You can buy these at the mall or online at the MTT website! Pour out two cups into the bowl, and stir them in,” Mettaton winked. “Now we’ll put handfuls of the batter onto ungreased pans.”  
”This is the best part, arrr!” Frisk said happily as they did this part all by themselves.  
“Now beauties, bake this for about ten minutes in your oven, or until edges are nicely browned.” Mettaton put the inedible cookies into the oven, and Undyne zoomed in on the cookies, before Frisk closed the door.

~Ten minute time skip brought to you by Sans’s Ketchup~

“While the cookies are cooling, boil some water,” Frisk dramatically turned the dial on the oven.  
“While we wait for the water to boil, we should begin making the sauce!” Mettaton said. “It is perhaps, the easiest thing we will do today.”  
”You will need MTT brand glitter (tm) and olive oil. Because olive oil is translucent, the glitter will be very easy to see and will shine very nicely.” Papyrus said loudly.  
”Correct! Simply pour the desired amount of olive oil into the cup and shake the glitter in.”  
”It looks very glittery.” Papyrus commented.  
”Of course! MTT brand glitter is made with love and magic which causes it to be 15 times more sparkly then the average glitter. Oh would you look at that,” Mettaton lifted his leg and pointed towards the pot with the toe of his pink boot. Undyne zoomed in on the boot and then the pot. “The water is boiling! Captain Frisk, would you be a dear and put the spaghetti in?”  
”Aye, aye!” Frisk skipped over to the pot, stood on a light green step-stool, and poured the spaghetti in a wimp like manner that earned a groan from Undyne. Mettaton continued to mix the glitter into the oil until you wouldn’t have been able to tell it was oil in the first place. Sooner rather than later Mettaton deemed the spaghetti worthy to be put on the plate and scooped into a large white ceramic bowl with different colored roses on it. Frisk poured the glitter oil mix on top. Together they arranged the 17 cookies they made on top.  
”Well there you have it, beauties! Thank you for watching the pilot episode of Cooking With A Killer Robot Part II: The Next Part. Next week there will be more drama, action, and bloodshed!” Frisk pulled out a neon, foam sword and Mettaton pulled out the cardboard chainsaw. They play fought as Papyrus said the closing remarks.  
”Well our heroes prevailed over all the challenges today in the kitchen, join us text time to see who wins the duel! Nyeh, heh heh!”  
”That looks surprisingly, not that bad.” Undyne said after turning the camera off and putting it down. On the ceramic bowl sat their shining magnum opus.  
“It smells weird.” Frisk tugged the eye patch off and handed it to Undyne who happily accepted it.  
”It is the smell of greatness!” Papyrus grinned.  
”Will there really be a next time, Mettaton?” Frisk asked hopefully.  
”Oh yes! Blooky and I won’t be leaving for a few days!” He pointed outside to a clearing sky and a warm sun peaking through the dregs of the storm clouds. “And maybe next episode can be a barbecue!”


End file.
